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Who (or what) is Gas Light Station!?

   Watch the trailer. We are "Equal Opportunity Offenders." Satire: our way of life. Parody: the tool of our trade. Irony: our ne...

Tuesday, February 27, 2024

Welcome to "THE BARBIES!" -- "The Barbie Movie" Greatest Speech Ever Monologue by Gerwig.

 


SEE the VIDEO

I really wanted to like the Barbie movie. I suppose I would have liked the movie that they marketed to me, but that isn’t what the movie turned out to be. I want to first say that the marketing (albeit deceptive) was the best marketing I’ve seen for a movie in a long, long time. It harkened back to the days of the one or two per summer blockbusters. --when movies truly were events, and it took years to make tent-pole pictures. Well, as brilliant (and all encompassing) as the marketing was, the movie was the opposite. It was perhaps diabolical, but that might be giving the creators too much credit. It was so incredibly convoluted on top of its nonsense (as well as choosing matriarch revenge -- very non-matriarch-like) over a world of gender equality, that I have to think the authors are ignorant if not also mean-spirited. At minimum, a few visits to even a half-assed shrink could have cleared up some of the whiny victimhood that the movie actually promotes.

Now, I would just dismiss this whole thing as a “silly little movie.” Why get “worked up about it?” Well, only because many people have “drank the Kool-Aid” and consider it to be some sort of seminal work. Most egregious is the celebrated and “heralded as genius” speech written for America Ferrera by Greta and her husband. “Yeah, they really get me and understand women and their plight” is what many women seemingly “take away.” (And, clutch the pearls, she was nominated for best screenplay but snubbed for best director!)  The issue is, the speech is purposely woven with paradox. That’s fine, but it mostly blames men for downside of the paradox. It hands over all the power to men, while believing that it somehow empowers women. It actually puts them in a victim posture, at the mercy of men and their whims. It also wants to “have its cake and eat it too.” Because it’s really the women behind this movie that are “putting women in their place” rather than men. Why is it that a “Magical Latina” must speak for Barbie and the “theme/point?” Because they could never cast Ferrera as the lead for a movie that is supposedly about equality and celebrating all shapes and sizes and colors of women. Without much “training,” most anyone can be snapped out of the haze and recognize that this “important speech” that made so many people on the set cry, is a typical “BEFORE” snapshot of a victim who has not had any sort of introspection, awakening, or therapy yet it is being celebrated as the “AFTER” self-awareness image. Let me ask you: Would any of you want to date, befriend, or hang out with anyone who talks about themselves and “womanhood” that way? ‘Seems like a big red (pink) flag to me. Ironically, feminism is about gaining equality. The movie instead lands right back where it started, with victim women ruling the land of Barbie. And for some reason, Robbie’s Barbie goes back to the horrible 1950s version of “Reality.” What? What is her motivation there? This movie is a convoluted mess. 


NOTE: The clip used for the metaphor for Gerwig’s speech is from the ending of “It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.” (And that kind of sums it all up!) In it, all of the women march into a hospital room filled with all of the injured men. Ethel Merman leads the hoard and screams at the men calling them idiots and telling them, “It’s all your fault!” Of course she takes zero responsibility for the actions which render her flat on her rear.  I’d say that sums up what Gerwig was saying in the America Ferrera speech. I cannot remember whether the men were solely to blame in that comedy, but, regardless, it was clear that Merman’s character was a blow-hard. And no matter what, the film was a silly comedy. There was no “message” or activist agenda. Anyone and everyone could kick back and enjoy the shenanigans. I’m sure there’s plenty for the SJW snowflakes to have a fit over, but the movie is essentially a “cartoon.” Who would have thought it would have something so important to say 60+ years later in summarizing the Barbie Speech.


'have a dream to work for Hollywood or Disney? Tick the right box!

 


See the "Commercial."


Once Upon a Time many small white boys dreamed of seeing themselves or their hard work "up on the big screen!" They still do...dream that is. But Hollywood doesn't want them anymore. It was always tough to "get in," but skill, talent, merit, and persistence could pay off! No more. You must tick all the right boxes. And, in the name of diversity and inclusion, many are being left out....or even forced out after decades of experience! 

Check out Film Threat's "The D Files!"

https://youtu.be/XEEeDvivN5c?si=CRhVf1UzTbekQMdu

https://youtu.be/njBIaFux9pI?si=wmkLQLK55u-x4HXJ

https://www.youtube.com/live/cqIg35QCWDQ?si=PXd2v422ahl74G9n

Friday, February 16, 2024

Counting Down: Wokademy Awards Fever



CLICK to see PROMO

Well, to be fair, it's really the First Annual Wokademy Awards as the new DEI Rules Kick into place. Fortunately, there was such an outcry regarding RIGGING these Elections that only the BEST PICTURE category is now rigged. Rigged because it is NOT the Best picture. It is the one that ticks boxes on identity following specific hiring practices based on identity, not merit, talent, or decades of experience. And, of course, this is in the guise of "inclusivity." One might say that Inclusivity in this case is NEWSPEAK for inclusion. I expect that the writers being hired will need to look that term up. 

Oscars New Standards:  https://www.oscars.org/awards/representation-and-inclusion-standards

“Tolerance will reach such a level that intelligent people will be banned from thinking so as not to offend the imbeciles” ~Anonymous

We highly recommend attending the FIlmThreat.com Live Oscar Watch Party, March 10 5p PST


Tuesday, February 6, 2024

Forget THX. DEI is the new certification and standard!

 

 

CLICK to watch trailer.

DEI is the new standard! (And, even more insulting: J.E.D.I. – Justice, Equity, Diversity, Inclusivity.)

THX was developed by Lucasfilm in 1983 to ensure that the soundtrack for the third Star Wars film, Return of the Jedi, would be accurately reproduced in the best venues.  

THX was (is?) a quality assurance system. It is a certification. THX-certified theaters provide a high-quality, predictable playback environment to ensure that any film soundtrack mixed in THX will sound as near as possible to the intentions of the mixing engineer.

Oh the irony. Excellence is no longer even a consideration. The company went from ensuring technical excellence to insisting on identities rather than excellencies. (At the time of THX’s development, Lucasfilm already had creative excellence more than covered, and, in fact, wanted that to be properly conveyed/displayed.)

Lucas established a quality standard with THX for commercial theaters that would use the best technology to consistently translate filmmakers' work to the theater. Now, the standard is to do most anything but accurately translate any original work. The standard is to not follow existing story/canon but to use diversity hire’s “voices” for a “modern take” on a story. And if you’re only diverse in one way, you’re not likely “diverse enough.” Ticking three boxes would be a good starting point to demonstrate you “should” be installed/cast rather than hiring any accomplished, experienced, talented person.

The WGA and Disney, now the owner of Lucasfilm, have both come under recent fire for establishing DEI over any quality standard. Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion are now the requirements for captaining (writing, producing, directing, acting) any production. Many long-time employees who were integral in making the great (and lucrative) classics have been pushed aside, fired, or quit. This is not speculation or “insult over argument.” Writers are coming forward to anonymously tell their stories.
The WGA and Academy awards have “check boxes” to vet whether a person is qualified for the job or a movie is qualified for an award. Radical voices have a stranglehold on Hollywood and push ideology and messaging over entertainment. So much for it being the “entertainment business.” Perhaps it’s now the Entrainment business?
References:
https://filmthreat.com/news/male-and-pale-is-stale-responses-to-an-open-letter-to-the-wga/
https://filmthreat.com/features/the-d-files-part-1-disney-and-the-downfall-of-john-lasseter/
https://youtu.be/XEEeDvivN5c?si=W6nwA9yl-b17qHJs

Friday, January 26, 2024

The Twilight Zone Kennedy Zone presents Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy

 

Have we slipped into an alternate universe? Another dimension? Surely we've entered the Twilight Zone! Or rather, "The Kennedy Zone!" Forget about merit, ability, experience, canon, or history...so long as you are a wopoc, you need not even be a fan of a franchise or story. How dare "they" take a once sacred, beloved story/franchise/myth and pervert it so? How dare "they" get people who are not NARRATIVE film makers or writers nor even fans of the story. Have 'they" even seen it? I have nothing against Sharmeen doing what she's apparently good (great?) at doing...documentary film-making. She got an Academy award or two for it. (I, nor most of the world, have never seen those docs.) Why would a studio head ever "point" that at a 300 million $$$ budget visual effects laden narrative motion picture? It makes zero sense...at least in the original (or my) space-time-dimension/zone. I would never have a podiatrist perform cardio-vascular surgery. I wouldn't have a plumber do it either, as talented as that person might be. What am I missing here? Oh, in this "zone" it's all about identity and nothing more. 'funny how the identity of Star Wars has suffered the consequences. What happened to the most magical mythical story of modern times? It changed my life...not in some obscure or abstract way. After I saw Star Wars in the summer of 1977 on a huge screen in a single movie theater, I ran out and bought a Fuji, Single-8 movie camera. (You few insiders will know what that is and how great it was!) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Single-8 Unlike 8mm or Super8mm cameras, the film-maker could rewind the Single-8 film...to do Visual effects!! I made space-ship models and nearly burned down our house, twice, filming fire and explosions. I studied computer graphics at Purdue (with at least one famous PIXAR peep) and robotics for motion control. I headed to Hollywood and within a few months I was doing visual effects for every network and many TV shows at the time. (Dinosaurs, Outer Limits, X-Files, Buffy, etc.) It was a dream come true. I was a diehard Disney and Star Wars fan (and I've worked for Disney in many graphics and visual effects capacities), but, when I heard Disney acquired LucasFilm/Star Wars, "I had a bad feeling about this!" I was standing in line at Disney's California Adventure (The Cars Ride) at the time with my 5 year old son. 'call it a premonition, or just a hunch that two great things don't necessarily always work great together like chocolate and peanut butter. And I never really took a liking to any of JJ Abrams earlier stuff. When Episode 7 finally arrived, It was, as I expected, DOA, but I had to mumble that in quiet whispers because "everyone else" seemed to think it was great. But by the time Rian ruined Episode 8, I had many more allies, and "the jig was up!" Although I was comforted that I now had company in my disdain for the sequels, I was crestfallen by the horribly disfigured story that "I grew up on"... they epic, hero's journey that changed my world. Now, it's so relentless in its rush to the bottom of story making and rush to the top of wokeness and D.E.I., I feel like I'm in some weird, bizarro, perverted dimension. Why are "these" film-makers "getting to" direct and shape Star Wars? I now entertain myself (and hopefully others) using my VFX/GRFX skills in film-making satires that poke fun at the "using woke as a weapon" warriors. It's both fun and sad. Lemonade from lemons? I'd rather be enjoying epic, mythical stories that alter my life in truly evolutionary, "progressive" connecting ways. Who decided "we" needed to insert activist messages into films? True film and stories and movies and theater in the hands (minds and hearts) of experienced, talented writers/speakers/performers have ALWAYS moved the world "towards the light," even if they were dark/horror films. Solid story is something civilization stands on and builds up from. Now, it's all remakes, reworks of great works, or "tear downs." It's not civilized at all. It's maddening that it lurks and grows in the shadows of victim hood rather than the light of triumph.

A Very Michael Bay Christmas


 It's not your ordinary Christmas Light Display. This one has more fire-power than a WWII battalion. Bringing "beautiful violence" to the delight of his teenage-boy (of all ages) audience, Michael Bay directs his own Christmas Display in a heart warming, heart pounding, visual feast that might actually cause some men to climax. "A lot of directors don't want the pressure of a competitive Christmas Display. I Thrive on it." "You'll find wonderment in the tragedy on this most holy of holy nights." "I really wanted to put the Christ back in Christmas...but with a twist."

Saturday, November 18, 2023

Disney Star Wars Girl Branding and the All New, Top Secret Replacement for the Death Star!

 


See the Star Wars "Convocation!"

The talk of the town is all about “The Marvels” and how the Marvel Cinematic Universe went woke and has become a girl brand. A lot of men, while merely “calling it out” by stating the obvious/facts, are getting called misogynists. Look at the S-Storm Chris Gore got on TwitterX by saying that Disney is essentially a “Girl Brand” and their films are going to lose S-Loads of money converting boy-brands into girl-brands. It was clear, long before the MCU went M-SHE-U, that Star Wars was undergoing gender de-affirming surgery and went totally “girl brand.” Movie after movie and then show after show became femme-centric. Mary-Sues filled out the leads and diverse casts seemed to just be stuck in to fill an agenda rather than a story. And that just didn’t serve (or offer respect to) anyone very well. And the fanbase can hardly wait to see what the Acolyte is going to dish out. We already got quite the earful from Jody Turner-Smith and Leslie Headland at the Star Wars Celebration. There’s no mistaking they want the (perceived) Patriarchy gone, and queer sensibilities “reflected” in the Acolyte. And just how did Headland (Harvey Weinstein’s ex-assistant) ever get installed to helm a Star Wars show? (Thanks Kathleen Kennedy.) It occurs to most actual fans that she either’s never seen or at least doesn’t respect the material. ‘time to satirically dish out a little disrespect of our own in this imaginary Star Wars Convocation which reveals the all-new, brilliant, female-writer’s answer to the continuous reappearance of the Death Star. We hope this will underline that this ultimately is not about feminization. It’s about bad-feminization, misplaced intentions, and really bad film-making, writing, and directing.


Thursday, November 9, 2023

The Star War. Rian Johnson breaks canon and cancels the universe.


 See what happens when Hyper-Drive is weaponized!

THE STAR WAR! One of the most EXPLOSIVE controversies around Star Wars: The insufferable Woke Vice-Admiral Holdo, a purple-haired-pill, single-handedly destroys the (Star Wars) universe! Of course, she’s just the puppet to self-delusional Rian Johnson, who single-handedly killed off a multi-billion-dollar empire. Of course, he was enabled by Disney LucasFilm under the helm of Emperor Kathleen Kennedy. It all went nuclear, but What was the real instrument of mass destruction? A corruption of canon! Any war in the stars became useless and meaningless once it was written that hyper-drive could be weaponized. Equipped with hyper-drive, any ship can drop out of hyperspace in front of its target and then resume hyper-drive. Boom! Game Over! Do any of these writer/directors read or respect the stories that came before? What’s more outrageous is their patting themselves on the back for their genius! What a hyper-cringe-mess. (And please, someone take that flat-iron away from her hair-stylist.)

 

Wednesday, November 8, 2023

Dateline: Who Killed Star Wars?

 

Watch this parody of DATELINE that investigates the demise of the Star Wars Empire!

Date Line’s an award-winning news magazine with classic story-telling, often revolving around murder mysteries. How befitting (or ironic) then, that we need to investigate the demise of one of the greatest, classic stories ever told. Who Killed Star Wars? Although, it’s not much of a mystery, investigative journalism will reveal many of the suspects. From Rian Johnson and Kathleen Kennedy to J.J. Abrams and Bob Iger. One thing’s for sure, it’s all happened after Disney acquired LucasFilm. Even Academy Award Winning Editor of Star Wars, Marcia Lucas, says: “They Killed Star Wars!” My how the mighty have fallen. What happened to the once great empire?



Tuesday, November 7, 2023

Who (or what) is Gas Light Station!?

 


 Watch the trailer.

We are "Equal Opportunity Offenders." Satire: our way of life. Parody: the tool of our trade. Irony: our nectar. We thrive on laughter/fun to nudge consciousness in tiny steps towards higher awareness. We have fun with anyone who is a scold. From the religious right to the wokester left, we hate being told what to do/believe! Present campaign: playing with the "Woke as a Weapon" warriors. If you can't take a joke...you're the perfect target! We are troublemakers and Buddhists. Chew on that koan! 

"Tolerance will reach such a level that intelligent people will be banned from thinking so as not to offend the imbeciles." ~Anonymous

"Totalitarian systems are notably devoid of humor at every level. Laughter, which brings acceptance and freedom, is a threat to their rule through force and intimidation. It is hard to oppress people who have a good sense of humor. ... Beware the humorless, whether in a person, institution, or belief system; it is always accompanied by an impulse to control and dominate, even if its proclaimed objective is to create prosperity or peace." ~"Power Versus Force" by David R. Hawkins

Monday, November 6, 2023

Mirror, Mirror, on Disney's Bob Iger's Wall!


 Watch the Mirror Mirror Video.

Who would have thought that Snow White, the very first fairy tale chosen by Walt Disney himself, to be the very first animated feature, ever, and essentially birth the Disney Company as we know it today, could become so controversial? And, in this era of hyper-awareness to cultural appropriation, one might think that race swapping the young lady whose “skin is white as snow” would surely be foolhardy. What is going on over at that magic kingdom? Who is advising this kingdom “nowadays?” You’d think they’d have a knowledgeable magic mirror of their own. Even a Magic Eight Ball would likely do better! Bob Iger actually returned to “right the ship!” ‘seems kind of silly since he steered it towards the rocks several years back. Mr. Iger, who is clear a genius at acquisitions, hasn’t fared so well in keeping those “catches” alive and well. With Kathleen Kennedy opening a can of “woke a$$” on Star Wars, and Rachel Zegler running the beloved story of Snow White into the ground, poor Bob Iger just can’t seem to catch a break!  #snowwhite #rachelzegler #antiwoke

Sunday, October 29, 2023

In Memoriam: Han Solo.

See the Academy's Heartfelt Farewell

A legendary, storied, beloved character...skewered. Thanks, Kathleen Kennedy & J.J. Abrams. You really know how to put on a show! Director J.J. Abrams and Lucasfilm infamously turned Han Solo into a deadbeat dad and then had him killed off in The Force Awakens without ever having him reunite with Luke Skywalker. For years now, we've watched Disney Star Wars kill of the franchise in a similar way. Disrespect for the beloved Star Wars Characters to an insulting level. Satire and parody of the Bob Iger and Kathleen Kennedy run/ruin of Star Wars has become an understatement. Reality if more ridiculous than any punch-line or parody. R.I.P. Han Solo and Star Wars.