Watch the trailer. We are "Equal Opportunity Offenders." Satire: our way of life. Parody: the tool of our trade. Irony: our ne...
In the Barbieland Ken is a clingy, jealous, possessive, and insecure idiot who only lives to impress Barbie. And since everything in the REAL WORLD is the flip side, that must mean that Greta’s projection of reality is that all women are clingy, jealous, possessive, and insecure idiots. Just a thought.
If you've seen the Motion Picture Academy of Arts and Sciences new Representation and Inclusion Standards, you'll know what we're talking about!
https://www.oscars.org/awards/represe...
This is pretty much how an election is rigged, and "Best" is no longer about merit. Well, and academy is a society of distinguished scholars. Now, they're just using different distinctions!
Watch as they "tick boxes" in the race to the Best Motion Picture!
Imagine you are attending "The Barbies!" We've got a more truthful albeit still confusing monologue by America Ferrera as a presenter here at "The Barbies!"
Ferrera: Welcome to the BARBIES. Yes. We’re taking back our power by blaming everyone for our problems. It’s literally impossible to be powerful while acting like a loser, but we’re going to go for it. It kills me that you’re smart and beautiful, but you totally fell for this disempowering bullshit.
And now that women have been put in charge in Hollywood …they have to answer for all of their box office flops and poorly written films.
But if fans or men point that out, they’re accused of being toxic, racist, or sexist. And nobody gives us women an award or medal or even a toaster oven. Just millions upon millions of dollars and maybe an Oscar for incomprehensible reasons.
And it’s literally impossible to accuse men of objectifying us if we do it first. And It’s literally impossible to pretend to champion curvy women of color and various genders while having the personification of the white blond ideal woman Margot Robbie cast in the title role.
And it’s literally impossible to use literally, literally this many times. Like. It just kills me.
Is it the AcaDEImy Awards? The Wokacademy Awards? With all of this talk of election rigging, one would think everyone would wise up. Some people worry that the Academy Awards might secretly be rigged. Worry no longer. It’s absolutely not true that it’s a secret. They’re forthright and even demanding about it! You see, The Academy really is taking votes away from experienced, talented, and skilled artists…and get this…it’s because of the color of their skin or their gender and sexual identification. There! I said it out loud. And Doesn’t that feel good? Just Go to their website and see the identity requirements used to rig the qualifications for Best picture. https://Oscars.org/awards/representation-and-inclusion-standards The Academy openly promotes and virtue signals that they are no longer an equal opportunity institution. They push a DEI agenda, and the Best picture category has less to do with merit than identity. Imagine applying that to the category of best technical achievement. Well, by definition, an academy is a society of distinguished scholars. They’ve simply just changed how they distinguish! And funny that anyone who now wins could either feel truly accomplished or good about it and not be suspect that they really are not the best. They simply were able to tick more boxes.
I really wanted to like the Barbie movie. I suppose I would have liked the movie that they marketed to me, but that isn’t what the movie turned out to be. I want to first say that the marketing (albeit deceptive) was the best marketing I’ve seen for a movie in a long, long time. It harkened back to the days of the one or two per summer blockbusters. --when movies truly were events, and it took years to make tent-pole pictures. Well, as brilliant (and all encompassing) as the marketing was, the movie was the opposite. It was perhaps diabolical, but that might be giving the creators too much credit. It was so incredibly convoluted on top of its nonsense (as well as choosing matriarch revenge -- very non-matriarch-like) over a world of gender equality, that I have to think the authors are ignorant if not also mean-spirited. At minimum, a few visits to even a half-assed shrink could have cleared up some of the whiny victimhood that the movie actually promotes.
Now, I would just dismiss this whole thing as a “silly little movie.” Why get “worked up about it?” Well, only because many people have “drank the Kool-Aid” and consider it to be some sort of seminal work. Most egregious is the celebrated and “heralded as genius” speech written for America Ferrera by Greta and her husband. “Yeah, they really get me and understand women and their plight” is what many women seemingly “take away.” (And, clutch the pearls, she was nominated for best screenplay but snubbed for best director!) The issue is, the speech is purposely woven with paradox. That’s fine, but it mostly blames men for downside of the paradox. It hands over all the power to men, while believing that it somehow empowers women. It actually puts them in a victim posture, at the mercy of men and their whims. It also wants to “have its cake and eat it too.” Because it’s really the women behind this movie that are “putting women in their place” rather than men. Why is it that a “Magical Latina” must speak for Barbie and the “theme/point?” Because they could never cast Ferrera as the lead for a movie that is supposedly about equality and celebrating all shapes and sizes and colors of women. Without much “training,” most anyone can be snapped out of the haze and recognize that this “important speech” that made so many people on the set cry, is a typical “BEFORE” snapshot of a victim who has not had any sort of introspection, awakening, or therapy yet it is being celebrated as the “AFTER” self-awareness image. Let me ask you: Would any of you want to date, befriend, or hang out with anyone who talks about themselves and “womanhood” that way? ‘Seems like a big red (pink) flag to me. Ironically, feminism is about gaining equality. The movie instead lands right back where it started, with victim women ruling the land of Barbie. And for some reason, Robbie’s Barbie goes back to the horrible 1950s version of “Reality.” What? What is her motivation there? This movie is a convoluted mess.
NOTE: The clip used for the metaphor for Gerwig’s speech is from the ending of “It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.” (And that kind of sums it all up!) In it, all of the women march into a hospital room filled with all of the injured men. Ethel Merman leads the hoard and screams at the men calling them idiots and telling them, “It’s all your fault!” Of course she takes zero responsibility for the actions which render her flat on her rear. I’d say that sums up what Gerwig was saying in the America Ferrera speech. I cannot remember whether the men were solely to blame in that comedy, but, regardless, it was clear that Merman’s character was a blow-hard. And no matter what, the film was a silly comedy. There was no “message” or activist agenda. Anyone and everyone could kick back and enjoy the shenanigans. I’m sure there’s plenty for the SJW snowflakes to have a fit over, but the movie is essentially a “cartoon.” Who would have thought it would have something so important to say 60+ years later in summarizing the Barbie Speech.
Well, to be fair, it's really the First Annual Wokademy Awards as the new DEI Rules Kick into place. Fortunately, there was such an outcry regarding RIGGING these Elections that only the BEST PICTURE category is now rigged. Rigged because it is NOT the Best picture. It is the one that ticks boxes on identity following specific hiring practices based on identity, not merit, talent, or decades of experience. And, of course, this is in the guise of "inclusivity." One might say that Inclusivity in this case is NEWSPEAK for inclusion. I expect that the writers being hired will need to look that term up.
Oscars New Standards: https://www.oscars.org/awards/representation-and-inclusion-standards
“Tolerance will reach such a level that intelligent people will be banned from thinking so as not to offend the imbeciles” ~Anonymous
We highly recommend attending the FIlmThreat.com Live Oscar Watch Party, March 10 5p PST
Not surprising for Will Smith to steal the spotlight on Hollywood’s Highest Holy day, but hardly anyone remembers when Cecil B. DeMille thrust his knee into Laurence Olivier’s groin at the 21st Academy Awards Presentation. But even that pales in comparison to the time Pope Pius XIV clubbed Arch Bishop Leamus T. Gregorios upside the head on the highest holy day of the year, Easter Sunday. (Even bigger than the Academy Awards, according to theologians.) With a capacity congregation seated in the cathedral, no one could believe their eyes. So, in a way, it was a proof that miracles do occur – and in open view.
Historians admit that the account is somewhat sketchy as it was over 1700 years ago, but, apparently, the bishop, making a segue into the second reading, called out from the pulpit to the pontiff, saying, “Love that stole, P! ‘can’t wait to see the vibrant line of yurts it inspires this spring.” His eminence, wearing a bright purple and pink stole for the first time, was not amused. He stepped up onto the altar, took the papal ferula (pastoral staff) and whacked Gregorois upside the head. (There was a rumor that he followed it with a swat to his bum, thereby breaking Jesus’ foot off in his ass, but that was just a ridiculous, complete fabrication.)
The crucifer (a young, nubile boy who carried the cross during the processional) wasn’t sure what to do. One novitiate panicked and released black smoke from the chimney on the roof of the cathedral. That just confused the congregants (not to mention the crowds gathered outside the Vatican) even further.
“Sacrilege! Blasphemy!” screamed the pope, in stark contrast to almost everyone else. “I didn’t even know it was an insult,” said one devotee in attendance. “I really like the look of the chasuble and colorful Bedouin tents in general,” added Sister Mary Veraminta, wearing a modest black tunic, scapular, veil and gigantic white wimple in the 90 degree heat. “I should be so lucky to wear such flamboyant, colorful adornment.”
His holiness seemed to completely disregard that the altar is a symbol of the heart of Christ which deserves special reverence. He did, however, go on to serve communion 40 minutes later while “sort of” apologizing to the college of cardinals regarding his misuse of the papal regalia. He couldn’t actually apologize because, as he reminded everyone, his every action and utterance, like Will Smith’s, is infallible. He is a supreme teacher and cannot err in matters of morals. The college of cardinals claimed they just didn’t know what to do in the wake of the unprecedented violence that just never comes from followers of Christ. Astonishingly, they gave a standing ovation when the Supreme Vicar went ahead and successfully turned a common loaf of bread into the actual body of Christ.
In the week that followed, the college of cardinals and ecumenical council got together for an inquiry even though everyone in the massive congregation witnessed the events live. Finally, ten days later, ballots were secretly cast and smoke was again released, but it was a sort of magenta, which just confused everyone all the more. For his penance, the Pope was asked to say three “Hail Marys” and one “Act of Contrition.” Just as Sister Mary Whoopious predicted, “There’s no way we’re going to take away the holy, solid gold statue that he won at the Ecumenical Awards.” “He didn’t even have to do the rosary,” said one visibly upset congregant who was forced to recite the 59 prayers of the beaded device five times for whispering, “Holy Shit” when he witnessed the “mis-step.”
His Reverence, Pope Pius, released a statement about how he was called on to fiercely defend the church and spread love. “The Holy Spirit so moved me,” stated the Most Holy Rabbi. “I’m infallible. Nothing more to say.” He questioned why people were questioning the infallible and suggested that he was going to put into motion a gigantic inquisition of sorts.
Deacon Tiffanish Hadden, dressed in shiny red loafers and giant gold cross, stated, “For the longest time we have suffered name-calling and jokes on our vestments. I, for one, am delighted that His Magnificence defended our flamboyant outer wear.” Sister Mary Hedwig, dressed in her drab habit, did, however, give Hadden the stink eye.
We reached out to Dan Brown, but, as of this writing, he declined to comment as to whether he has a controversial mystery-suspense novel, to further embarrass Catholics and Opus Dei, in the works.
The diminishing-in-numbers but still savvy home-viewers of the Academy Awards broadcast this year noticed that the show installed a whole new extra special upper elite luxury section in the front of the auditorium where the likes of Will and Jada Smith were seated. Somewhat similar to ultra-high-end box seats gifted to the uber-class at sporting events, this stunning move really set apart the polished from the merely “highly washed” masses in attendance at the ceremony which not only awards the mega-rich, Hollywood elite, but gives some occasional awards to the “nouveau célèbre,” seated in the far, far back.
“What we are trying to do,” said one Academy member, “is distinguish between the haves and the have-it-alls.” “We purposely wanted to segregate the attendees,” said another member of the all black production team, installed as a victory for diversity. “It was a brilliant move,” said a spokesperson for a popular Hollywood insider journal. “They segregated the rich and famous from the super rich and world-famous. Previously, they only had a sort of front-of-the-bus, back-of-the-bus thing going.” It really put those attendees in the back of the second balcony “in their rightful place.” We asked the people in the nose-bleed seats for comments, but most just replied, “I hope to be there someday.”
“Only the A-list, like Steven Spielberg, familiar with lists from directing ‘Schindler’s List,’ are worthy of such an honor.” In order to install the section where only a few dozen ultra-class legends could be seated, hundreds of regular (albeit previously sought-after orchestra section seats) had to be removed. “It was great because a lot of other people who think they deserve to be at the awards could no longer fit in, literally and figuratively. You know, all the people who the winners thank because the movie could never have been made without them. Those people. Let’s face it. They are NOT at the top-of-the-food-chain nor award winners. That title is reserved as special and truly means something.”
Surely, everyone must agree, it’s an honest and accurate reflection of society. Only the top .1% should take the spoils and real estate of the rest. These people literally should “Get a seat at the table.” The others clearly haven’t done enough or aren’t talented enough (or know enough “right people”) to get that seat. “Do you want to trample on the American public’s hopes and dreams? Let’s face it, they mostly tune in thinking that someday they will have a seat at the front table. And Hollywood is in the dream-making business.”
